I don't think I need to say anything because the pictures speak for themselves but I think this one specifically is breathtaking. I was running 103.4 fever and you can see the concern in Ryan's face. It was a very scary time for everyone, but especially us.
6.08.2013
May 30, 2013
Yes, she is here. Yes, she is perfect and beautiful. Was my pregnancy and birth complicated? YES. I wrote the whole story out last night and it somehow was deleted. It took a lot out of me to have all that hard work deleted so I pray it doesn't happen again.
At 40 weeks and 1 day, at 9 am, I was induced. I got to the hospital at 5 am with happy thoughts and high hopes. I couldn't wait to meet my baby girl and I figured I would be meeting her later that day or into the night around 10 pm at the latest! My husband, mom and dad were all with me right away. None of us had slept very well so we were all falling asleep on and off in the beginning. Finally, at 9 pm, they inserted a foley bulb into my cervix and started me on the pitocin. I started having contractions right away. I dilated to a 3 in about half an hour with the help of the foley bulb. I called the nurse in to please give me something for the horrible pain the foley bulb was causing (it felt like a constant painful contraction) so she checked it and it was about to come out! She left the room to let someone know that it was about to come out and I gagged 4 times from the pain while she was away. On the forth gag, it popped out and I felt immediate relief. The nurse asked me if I still wanted pain meds and I said no.
About half an hour later they checked me and broke my water. I supposed that's when "labor" started but I start it at 9 am because that's when I started having contractions and a lot of pain.
Anyway, most of it was a blur, to be honest. I have no clue how much time went by between 3 cm and 4 cm. Then from 4 cm to almost 6 cm. Then from 6 cm to 8 cm. I can tell you that it was over 24 hours... That's not even the most wild part...
Because I progressed so slowly and they checked me so often (once every 2ish hours) I ended up with an infection called chorioamnionitis. I was shivering a lot and I thought I may have a fever but my mom thought it may have been from the epidural. They checked my temperature and I had a low grade fever of 99.7 so they started keeping an eye on me. Next time they checked, it was higher, then next time, even higher, then next time, much higher. As far as we know my temperature reached 103.4. I was shaking so violently that I thought I would just die. My heart rate stayed around 150 and Abriella's stayed between 190 and 210. I could cry right now thinking about it. My baby was in distress because I had an infection. They started me on antibiotics and started talking c section. I finally had myself mentally prepared for the c section when they came in and took my temperature and it was dropping. Abby's heart rate was still around 190-200 but the dr decided to wait to see if we could get mine and Abby's heart rates to go down. Once Abby's was only staying around 180-190 they started talking about putting me back on pitocin. We didn't feel comfortable starting my contractions back up so we refused the pitocin. They put me on oxygen and our heart rates started going down! FINALLY! After 2 or more horribly scary hours, things were getting better!!! Once Abby's heart rate dropped down to the 150's-160's we felt comfortable with starting the pitocin back up.
I wasn't having very hard contractions so none of us expected me to have dilated at all the next time they checked me. I had been ALMOST 6 cm for hours upon hours. When the delivering dr came in and checked me, I was 8 cm and 95% effaced!!! And of course I just got goosebumps and teared up thinking about it. The long, hard road was almost over!! The dr told me she would come back in half an hour to an hour and we would start pushing! The biggest sense of relief came over me. It probably came over everyone in the room. 45 minutes later, the dr came in, checked me and had the nurse "practice" push with me. I really was pushing though. I got Abby through the birth canal in about an hour and she was crowning. The dr then came in to deliver her. About half an hour later, Abby was in the world and screaming her little cone shaped head off.
The things I didn't mention in that paragraph were these: She was sideways in the canal for a bit before she started turning the right way and that's why she had a cone head. Also, we had a big scare. She suffered shoulder dystocia. I didn't get to hold her immediately after she was born because they had to make sure she was ok. Ryan stayed by my side until I told him to go be with her. I was bawling from the moment her head came out until the moment they finally gave her to me. They let me hold her for a few minutes after checking her shoulder and vitals but they had to take her away because she had a fever and had caught an infection because of mine (again with the weepy eyes). Knowing she was sick and she was brand new was the absolute scariest time of my life aside from being so sick while I had the infection. They finally brought her back to me about 20 minutes or so later. She had an IV in her arm because she needed to get antibiotics for the infection. Her temperature was down and she got to stay in the room with me. I held her until Ryan got back with my food. Then I gave her to him so he could finally hold our baby girl. Then we finally shared her with my mom and dad.
2 days later we got to go home. Abby was fine, I was fine. She latched to my breast immediately when they brought her in to me and continued doing so (until my milk came in that is. But that is a story for another day).
Without further ado, here is our princess, Abriella Jane. 8 lbs 10 oz and 22 1/4 inches long:
And here she is now at 8 lbs 6 oz:
She is our world. There are a lot more pictures to come, but that is also for another day. I can't believe this tiny miracle I hold in my arms. She is truly amazing.
At 40 weeks and 1 day, at 9 am, I was induced. I got to the hospital at 5 am with happy thoughts and high hopes. I couldn't wait to meet my baby girl and I figured I would be meeting her later that day or into the night around 10 pm at the latest! My husband, mom and dad were all with me right away. None of us had slept very well so we were all falling asleep on and off in the beginning. Finally, at 9 pm, they inserted a foley bulb into my cervix and started me on the pitocin. I started having contractions right away. I dilated to a 3 in about half an hour with the help of the foley bulb. I called the nurse in to please give me something for the horrible pain the foley bulb was causing (it felt like a constant painful contraction) so she checked it and it was about to come out! She left the room to let someone know that it was about to come out and I gagged 4 times from the pain while she was away. On the forth gag, it popped out and I felt immediate relief. The nurse asked me if I still wanted pain meds and I said no.
About half an hour later they checked me and broke my water. I supposed that's when "labor" started but I start it at 9 am because that's when I started having contractions and a lot of pain.
Anyway, most of it was a blur, to be honest. I have no clue how much time went by between 3 cm and 4 cm. Then from 4 cm to almost 6 cm. Then from 6 cm to 8 cm. I can tell you that it was over 24 hours... That's not even the most wild part...
Because I progressed so slowly and they checked me so often (once every 2ish hours) I ended up with an infection called chorioamnionitis. I was shivering a lot and I thought I may have a fever but my mom thought it may have been from the epidural. They checked my temperature and I had a low grade fever of 99.7 so they started keeping an eye on me. Next time they checked, it was higher, then next time, even higher, then next time, much higher. As far as we know my temperature reached 103.4. I was shaking so violently that I thought I would just die. My heart rate stayed around 150 and Abriella's stayed between 190 and 210. I could cry right now thinking about it. My baby was in distress because I had an infection. They started me on antibiotics and started talking c section. I finally had myself mentally prepared for the c section when they came in and took my temperature and it was dropping. Abby's heart rate was still around 190-200 but the dr decided to wait to see if we could get mine and Abby's heart rates to go down. Once Abby's was only staying around 180-190 they started talking about putting me back on pitocin. We didn't feel comfortable starting my contractions back up so we refused the pitocin. They put me on oxygen and our heart rates started going down! FINALLY! After 2 or more horribly scary hours, things were getting better!!! Once Abby's heart rate dropped down to the 150's-160's we felt comfortable with starting the pitocin back up.
I wasn't having very hard contractions so none of us expected me to have dilated at all the next time they checked me. I had been ALMOST 6 cm for hours upon hours. When the delivering dr came in and checked me, I was 8 cm and 95% effaced!!! And of course I just got goosebumps and teared up thinking about it. The long, hard road was almost over!! The dr told me she would come back in half an hour to an hour and we would start pushing! The biggest sense of relief came over me. It probably came over everyone in the room. 45 minutes later, the dr came in, checked me and had the nurse "practice" push with me. I really was pushing though. I got Abby through the birth canal in about an hour and she was crowning. The dr then came in to deliver her. About half an hour later, Abby was in the world and screaming her little cone shaped head off.
The things I didn't mention in that paragraph were these: She was sideways in the canal for a bit before she started turning the right way and that's why she had a cone head. Also, we had a big scare. She suffered shoulder dystocia. I didn't get to hold her immediately after she was born because they had to make sure she was ok. Ryan stayed by my side until I told him to go be with her. I was bawling from the moment her head came out until the moment they finally gave her to me. They let me hold her for a few minutes after checking her shoulder and vitals but they had to take her away because she had a fever and had caught an infection because of mine (again with the weepy eyes). Knowing she was sick and she was brand new was the absolute scariest time of my life aside from being so sick while I had the infection. They finally brought her back to me about 20 minutes or so later. She had an IV in her arm because she needed to get antibiotics for the infection. Her temperature was down and she got to stay in the room with me. I held her until Ryan got back with my food. Then I gave her to him so he could finally hold our baby girl. Then we finally shared her with my mom and dad.
2 days later we got to go home. Abby was fine, I was fine. She latched to my breast immediately when they brought her in to me and continued doing so (until my milk came in that is. But that is a story for another day).
Without further ado, here is our princess, Abriella Jane. 8 lbs 10 oz and 22 1/4 inches long:
And here she is now at 8 lbs 6 oz:
She is our world. There are a lot more pictures to come, but that is also for another day. I can't believe this tiny miracle I hold in my arms. She is truly amazing.
5.24.2013
Oh, do I have a story for you!
I haven't been saying a whole lot lately. Like I said in the last post, I am on auto pilot. I am currently 39 weeks, day 4 and no sign of laboring on my own. My mom has been here for almost 3 weeks now because I was 70% effaced and she thought I would go into labor at any moment. Boy, did I prove her wrong or what?
Ok, so, story time.
For the last month, I have been feeling like something is wrong with my blood pressure. I start to feel pressure in my head along with headaches, my arms get red and splotchy, my chest gets red, my ankles and feet have suddenly had more swelling and I just don't feel right when I have these episodes. The first time it happened, I felt really fuzzy in my head so I went to Walmart and took my blood pressure and it was up so Ryan and I went to labor and delivery where it had lowered and I was sent home with no explanation of why it may have been up, nor did they have any proof that it had ever been up. So, I just looked like a crazy pregnant person. Well, a few more days - a week went by and I had been feeling this way on and off the whole time. One day I was feeling that same feeling so my mom and I went to Walgreens where the pharmacist takes your blood pressure with an actual cuff and it was 139/97!!! They don't want the top number to go over 140 and bottom number to go over 90 so we came back home real quick then went to labor and delivery again where, of course (an hour or longer after it had been high) it had gone down, AGAIN. So, I looked like a crazy pregnant woman, AGAIN.
I then decided I wouldn't go in anymore with the issue because clearly they would never catch it. That same week I went to see the midwife (not my regular OB because he wasn't available) and I mentioned how my blood pressure had been acting up and I was once again dismissed because there was no proof that I wasn't crazy.
Fast forward to my appointment with my actual OB and I bring it up. He decides to test me for pre eclampsia. After them taking blood and me bringing in a jug of urine that I had to collect over a 24 hour period, I got news that all was fine, so I was dismissed again. Apparently high blood pressure doesn't matter as long as you don't have pre e? Well, I went to the midwife again this past week for my 39 week check up and guess what?? MY BLOOD PRESSURE WAS HIGH!!! 144/97! They even took it again 10 minutes later after I had rested and it was still high! She sent me to Labor and Delivery saying that she saw no reason why they wouldn't induce me. I started to get really excited! My issue was finally being resolved AND I would meet my baby girl, FINALLY.
Well, after hours in Labor and Delivery, they sent me home to collect my urine for 24 hours again. I felt beyond defeated. My high blood pressure didn't matter because it went down? I don't understand these people.
Fast forward to yesterday morning! I got a phone call (and missed it) from the midwife. She left a voicemail saying she was calling to follow up from the other day and all I could think was "THIS IS IT! There HAS TO BE something wrong with my urine this time! They HAVE TO see something for her to be calling me!". I honestly thought she would say I have a UTI or something because I haven't been peeing as much as one would think a pregnant woman would at 39 weeks. I called her back immediately and she told me my urine was fine BUT she was still concerned about my blood pressure so she SCHEDULED me for an induction. Holy crap. HOLY CRAP. S*** just got real. She couldn't get me in any sooner than my due date (which is Tuesday) but now I KNOW I will have a baby by this time next week!
Trust me, I would love nothing more than to go into labor on my own but if I don't do it on my own, I am more than happy to get help doing it. Not to mention, my dad gets here tomorrow night and him and my mom have to go back to Indiana next Sunday so I really didn't want to risk them missing Miss Abriella's birth. Also, please refrain from telling me about your horrible induction story. I have heard both good and bad but I choose to learn from experience :) Just wish me luck! I will see you guys after I have her!
Ok, so, story time.
For the last month, I have been feeling like something is wrong with my blood pressure. I start to feel pressure in my head along with headaches, my arms get red and splotchy, my chest gets red, my ankles and feet have suddenly had more swelling and I just don't feel right when I have these episodes. The first time it happened, I felt really fuzzy in my head so I went to Walmart and took my blood pressure and it was up so Ryan and I went to labor and delivery where it had lowered and I was sent home with no explanation of why it may have been up, nor did they have any proof that it had ever been up. So, I just looked like a crazy pregnant person. Well, a few more days - a week went by and I had been feeling this way on and off the whole time. One day I was feeling that same feeling so my mom and I went to Walgreens where the pharmacist takes your blood pressure with an actual cuff and it was 139/97!!! They don't want the top number to go over 140 and bottom number to go over 90 so we came back home real quick then went to labor and delivery again where, of course (an hour or longer after it had been high) it had gone down, AGAIN. So, I looked like a crazy pregnant woman, AGAIN.
I then decided I wouldn't go in anymore with the issue because clearly they would never catch it. That same week I went to see the midwife (not my regular OB because he wasn't available) and I mentioned how my blood pressure had been acting up and I was once again dismissed because there was no proof that I wasn't crazy.
Fast forward to my appointment with my actual OB and I bring it up. He decides to test me for pre eclampsia. After them taking blood and me bringing in a jug of urine that I had to collect over a 24 hour period, I got news that all was fine, so I was dismissed again. Apparently high blood pressure doesn't matter as long as you don't have pre e? Well, I went to the midwife again this past week for my 39 week check up and guess what?? MY BLOOD PRESSURE WAS HIGH!!! 144/97! They even took it again 10 minutes later after I had rested and it was still high! She sent me to Labor and Delivery saying that she saw no reason why they wouldn't induce me. I started to get really excited! My issue was finally being resolved AND I would meet my baby girl, FINALLY.
Well, after hours in Labor and Delivery, they sent me home to collect my urine for 24 hours again. I felt beyond defeated. My high blood pressure didn't matter because it went down? I don't understand these people.
Fast forward to yesterday morning! I got a phone call (and missed it) from the midwife. She left a voicemail saying she was calling to follow up from the other day and all I could think was "THIS IS IT! There HAS TO BE something wrong with my urine this time! They HAVE TO see something for her to be calling me!". I honestly thought she would say I have a UTI or something because I haven't been peeing as much as one would think a pregnant woman would at 39 weeks. I called her back immediately and she told me my urine was fine BUT she was still concerned about my blood pressure so she SCHEDULED me for an induction. Holy crap. HOLY CRAP. S*** just got real. She couldn't get me in any sooner than my due date (which is Tuesday) but now I KNOW I will have a baby by this time next week!
Trust me, I would love nothing more than to go into labor on my own but if I don't do it on my own, I am more than happy to get help doing it. Not to mention, my dad gets here tomorrow night and him and my mom have to go back to Indiana next Sunday so I really didn't want to risk them missing Miss Abriella's birth. Also, please refrain from telling me about your horrible induction story. I have heard both good and bad but I choose to learn from experience :) Just wish me luck! I will see you guys after I have her!
5.17.2013
I'm still pregnant.
I'm on auto pilot right now. 38 weeks and 3 days pregnant. I'm so ready to meet our sweet rainbow baby that every day I am still pregnant is sheer torture.
I got my membranes stripped Wednesday around 10:00 am and so far it has done nothing for me. I'm sad because if I'm still pregnant Tuesday, I will want it done again but I'm seeing a midwife I don't like rather than my dr because he didn't have anything available next week (I'm guessing he's on vacation).
Also, I am being tested for pre eclampsia because of elevated blood pressure and swelling. It will really upset me if I have that on top of gestational diabetes AND PUPPP. Mostly because I don't want to be induced if I can help it. I am doing everything I can possibly do to get labor moving along naturally but so far nothing has worked.
I have a growth ultrasound on Monday morning and my 39 week appointment on Tuesday morning. I would like to not have to go to them. I just want my baby girl in my arms. I want her in my arms. I NEED her in my arms. My patience has grown very thin.
As you can see, I'm not real excited to be this pregnant, lol...
COME ON ABBY!!! We are all dying to meet you!!!
4.28.2013
The end of the storm.
A rainbow...
A rainbow is God's way of telling us the storm is over.
A rainbow baby.
Abby is a rainbow baby. A rainbow signifies that the storm is over. After I miscarried, there was a storm. A horribly brutal one. It lasted a year. It rained EVERY DAY for a year. September 17th a rainbow formed. The storm was over. It stopped raining and the sky was clear enough so you could see where that rainbow began and where it ended. If pots of gold were real, you would have been able to see that too.
When I think about our rainbow baby, I am elated. I can hardly believe that she will be here in a month, maybe more, maybe less. It brings me to tears to think that in a short time, we will finally have what we have been longing for, for so long. I drown in my thoughts of her every day. I worry about her constantly. I feel helpless because I can't touch her, hold her, rock her...
Did you know that studies say that babies cry in the WOMB? I'm so glad we can't hear it. I would just lose it if I heard her crying but couldn't comfort her.
My patience grows thinner every day.
I just can't wait to have her.
I just can't.
A rainbow is God's way of telling us the storm is over.
A rainbow baby.
Abby is a rainbow baby. A rainbow signifies that the storm is over. After I miscarried, there was a storm. A horribly brutal one. It lasted a year. It rained EVERY DAY for a year. September 17th a rainbow formed. The storm was over. It stopped raining and the sky was clear enough so you could see where that rainbow began and where it ended. If pots of gold were real, you would have been able to see that too.
When I think about our rainbow baby, I am elated. I can hardly believe that she will be here in a month, maybe more, maybe less. It brings me to tears to think that in a short time, we will finally have what we have been longing for, for so long. I drown in my thoughts of her every day. I worry about her constantly. I feel helpless because I can't touch her, hold her, rock her...
Did you know that studies say that babies cry in the WOMB? I'm so glad we can't hear it. I would just lose it if I heard her crying but couldn't comfort her.
My patience grows thinner every day.
I just can't wait to have her.
I just can't.
4.24.2013
Bump Day: Things are getting real
Yesterday I hit 35 weeks. THIRTY-FIVE WEEKS. I seriously cannot believe that it has been so long since Ryan and I were embracing, crying and laughing in the living room because I had randomly taken a test 1 day late and it was positive.
You all know my story but here's a brief catch up:
Ryan and I started TTC in June of 2010, found out I was pregnant in July and miscarried in September. I would have been 12 weeks pregnant but the baby stopped growing at 7 weeks and 1 day. We were absolutely devastated (and I know you all know that in a way, I still am) but as soon as I had my first normal period, we were allowed to start trying again and I had that period in early October so we jumped back on the wagon. Month after month after month I tested and those tests came back negative, every d*** time. I felt so alone. I felt like I would never be pregnant again. I felt like my only baby was the one in heaven. That was until September 18th. I was one day late for my period (heck I could have possibly not been late at all). I had been "one day late" so many times and tested so many times and the test came back negative SO. MANY. TIMES. I was on the phone with my mom and decided to go to Walmart to get a test. I told her I was getting one but she didn't know I was going to take it while on the phone with her still. As soon as I got home, I took that test. As soon as two lines showed up, I started shaking. My mom had no clue what was going on and I kept trying to ask her how likely it was to get a false positive but I was so shaky that she couldn't understand me. Ryan walked in the door within SECONDS of that positive test. I walked out of the bathroom looking like I had seen a ghost and I handed him the test. The smile on that mans face was just breath taking. We instantly started crying and laughing in shock, and hugging of course. I had my mom on speaker phone and she kept saying my name because I wasn't responding to her. Finally I said "I'm pregnant!!!" and we all celebrated. It was amazing. It was magical. It was beautiful. It was perfect.
Now, here we are. There are 5 weeks left and we have everything done so now we wait. My patience has grown ever so thin. I don't want to have her EARLY. I want it to be TIME to have her. She is so amazing and wonderful and she is just the biggest blessing. Sometimes I feel like we don't deserve her but then I remember everything we have gone through just to have her. We SO deserve her. And we will be everything she deserves.
You all know my story but here's a brief catch up:
Ryan and I started TTC in June of 2010, found out I was pregnant in July and miscarried in September. I would have been 12 weeks pregnant but the baby stopped growing at 7 weeks and 1 day. We were absolutely devastated (and I know you all know that in a way, I still am) but as soon as I had my first normal period, we were allowed to start trying again and I had that period in early October so we jumped back on the wagon. Month after month after month I tested and those tests came back negative, every d*** time. I felt so alone. I felt like I would never be pregnant again. I felt like my only baby was the one in heaven. That was until September 18th. I was one day late for my period (heck I could have possibly not been late at all). I had been "one day late" so many times and tested so many times and the test came back negative SO. MANY. TIMES. I was on the phone with my mom and decided to go to Walmart to get a test. I told her I was getting one but she didn't know I was going to take it while on the phone with her still. As soon as I got home, I took that test. As soon as two lines showed up, I started shaking. My mom had no clue what was going on and I kept trying to ask her how likely it was to get a false positive but I was so shaky that she couldn't understand me. Ryan walked in the door within SECONDS of that positive test. I walked out of the bathroom looking like I had seen a ghost and I handed him the test. The smile on that mans face was just breath taking. We instantly started crying and laughing in shock, and hugging of course. I had my mom on speaker phone and she kept saying my name because I wasn't responding to her. Finally I said "I'm pregnant!!!" and we all celebrated. It was amazing. It was magical. It was beautiful. It was perfect.
Now, here we are. There are 5 weeks left and we have everything done so now we wait. My patience has grown ever so thin. I don't want to have her EARLY. I want it to be TIME to have her. She is so amazing and wonderful and she is just the biggest blessing. Sometimes I feel like we don't deserve her but then I remember everything we have gone through just to have her. We SO deserve her. And we will be everything she deserves.
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